This post has been inspired by a few blogging buddies asking whether we’ve had any negative racial experiences in Croatia, as Mr C is black, and there aren’t that many black people in Croatia.
You can also read our previous post Notes from a “stranger” in Croatia.
It is always interesting to see people’s reactions when they see us as a mixed-race couple (Ms E white Italian, Mr C black British) and although we’ve never had any hostile racist reactions, there is curiosity nonetheless.
In London, where we live, nobody bats an eyelid at us. We are just part of the crowd in this cosmopolitan city which is a melting pot of
270 different nationalities and 300 different languages.
And we love it that way.
When we travel abroad, it’s a different matter as we observe (and in turn are observed by) people in different countries, from different cultures, different ethnicities and their reaction at seeing a black man with a white woman.
We often travel as a couple to Italy and to Croatia, and in both countries we’ve never had any negative experiences, although people do stare, especially older people in the smaller villages where they are not accustomed to seeing black people in the flesh, or if they see them they are usually poor immigrants (especially in Italy) and Mr C does not fit this description. So we think most people just stare out of curiosity.
And then there is travel to far-away destinations, take for example our recent trip to the Caribbean. Our plane carried 460 passengers, only a handful of which were black. Upon arrival in Barbados and approaching immigration, Mr C was waved by several immigration officers and invited to go through an empty immigration lane marked “residents” and I had to pull him away to the normal long winding tourist queue, so he said to the immigration guy “sorry mate, I’ve just come from London.” – although he really wanted to ask “Is it because I is black?” and next time he’ll probably take advantage of being a black man and go to the shorter queue!
In our hotel which catered only for British tourists, Mr C was the only black guest, as all the other black people where local hotel staff. On a couple of occasions, Mr C was mistaken by guests for a bar staff “hey Big Dave how’s it going?“, although luckily nobody asked him to bring them a beer or make them a rum-punch cocktail.
A married British couple that we befriended and were also there on holiday, commented that some of the hotel guests thought that ours was probably a holiday romance (you know the old cliché, white rich middle-aged woman travelling to pick up local black guy for love…).
So that gave me the idea to play along with it! When we left Barbados to board our cruise ship, we were picked up by our local transfer and we shared the taxi with another white British couple who were also going on the same ship. As we approached the port, we had to stop at the entrance for passport control. Three of us showed our passports, but Mr C had locked his passport in his suitcase which was now in the boot of the car, so the port-inspector looked at the three of us and asked “who is he with?” so I put up my hand and replied “oh he’s with me, I just picked him up from the beach a couple of days ago!” The taxi driver didn’t know what to do, and panicked as he believed my story and thought we would now be in trouble, but the inspector saw the funny side of my joke and laughingly said in his charming Bajan accent “oh really? well next time make sure you keep his passport for him” and waved us through, so we could board our ship.
I kept up the story of “just picked him up from the beach” for the remainder of the holiday, and it was fun to look at people’s faces and reactions.
But in other countries, we’ve experienced that Mr C is a magnet to the locals. Our ship stopped in a small island in the Grenadines, called Union Island, on a beautiful deserted Caribbean beach with no houses nor infrastructure, apart from a few rustic beach shacks run as bars by locals. Our group of 6 put down towels to sunbathe and swim, and Mr C was soon after approached by a local “rasta” guy who enquired as to Mr C’s origins, and upon hearing that Mr C is of Nigerian origins but British, the guy said “oh you rich man then, got yo’self a white woman, ain’t you lucky you not living in Nigeria?” and after some conversation, Mr C ended up giving the guy some change.
The same thing happened on other stops during the holiday, in Grenada, in St Vincent’s, and after a while I said to Mr C “haven’t you noticed all these people just befriend you, to make you feel sorry for them and get your money?”.
In other places which we’ve visited in the past, similar episodes happened. In Egypt on several occasions, Mr C was approached by locals, who would call him “my brother“, “my friend” or “Nubian man” and similar experiences in Cuba, and again Mr C ended up giving them some small money as he felt in a privileged position.
Mr C is quite a sweet person and very generous with people in a worse situation than his own.
What do you do in similar situations when you travel, do you give money to beggars?
Or is it best not to give to individuals who target tourists, does it just encourage them to think that this is an easy way to get money? If you want to help, is it best to give to a charitable organization in the country you are visiting? Most local guides we have used in the past when travelling in foreign countries, actively discourage tourists from giving money to beggars, especially children, as they explain that it is not good for their society and it just perpetuates the problem.
I know it’s a complex subject with no easy and “one-fits-all” answer, so we just tend to go with the flow and give according to the circumstances, as we do recognize that we are very lucky and extremely fortunate that we can have expensive travels and holidays, whereas in some countries people live a hand-to-mouth existence, or struggle day-to-day to feed their families.
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source: Urban Dictionary.com
Is it because I is black?
Phrase coined by Sasha Baron Cohen - the ironically white, Cambridge educated comedian who has made a really successful career out of his TV persona/s. Sasha is not black and is not a Muslim. The phrase follows his screen belief that he is a black gangster from Staines (England), called Ali G.
Example:
Police officer: Can you please move back to the side sir or we will have to take you to the station?
Ali G: Wait a minute, come on, is it because I is black?











People’s perceptions are so different everywhere. You have traveled the world and seen it, but sometimes I notice it is right around the corner at home. Leaves me shaking my head and wondering how some people seem to be so stagnant and narrow in their thoughts. Am I being a downer? Sorry. Anyway, you tell a funny story, and I enjoyed it.
thanks Katie for stopping by. Some sections of society are still narrow minded, some countries and communities are more open than other. I think it is changing all the time. I don’t believe in Utopia but things can always improve. Glad you enjoyed our story.
I live in the land of narrow minded (Texas) and I work in the land of even more narrow minded. It boggles. Don’t worry, I won’t let it taint me!
I just bashed Texas. That’s a crime in these here parts. It wasn’t really a bash. It wasn’t. I swear. It was just an observation. Oh, gosh, if someone sees this I’m gonna lose my Texan status….
gosh Katie, I think I’ve really got myself into a politically incorrect post…. Isn’t Texas where a certain Mr B-u-s-h was from? talk about narrow minded….
Don’t worry, your conversation is safe with us. The CIA stopped looking for un-favourable Texas-comments a few years ago. Now the President is also black!
Agreed. Only don’t tell my in-laws!
oooops…
Thanks for cheering up my morning. Mrs Sensible has the female version of man flu, so I am now a male nurse for the weekend…
As an Italian, you will know all about terroni, Mrs Sensible comes from beautiful Sicily. It amazes me that there is a type of racism within Italy. Mrs Sensible once sat through a staff meeting, while her head teacher was complaining, that they would have a teacher from the south joining them. Mrs Sensible pointed out she was from Sicily. “Ah!! but you have lived in the UK haven’t you” As though that made her un Sicilian..
Hope Mrs Sensible is getting the recommeded dose of prunes, try out the cod liver oil!
Here in France we have a similar type of rascism, with ‘foreigner” meaning anyone who is slightly Algerian in appearance. When we bought a house in 2002, hte neighbours told us they were happy that it wasn’t “foreigners” who had bought it. I told them they were sunk because I was English. Answer: You’re white, it’s different”. NO comment…..
Exactly.. no comment.
I am an immigrant in Italy.. I don’t speak the lingo (well a bit but not very well) But it seems I am OK because I am white & English. So I am an expat. Utter hogwash, I am still an immigrant.
PS, I think the rules for medicine changes when Mrs Sensible is sick… She lives survives on English Tea, I really think she thinks she is English.
Dear Mrs Crazy Croatian, multifarious and I did not intend to chat on your lovely post, but we need to meet somewhere.
hey Pecora Nera, this can be a virtual coffee shop or tea shop, where you guys are very welcome, actually I put up the hammock on the right-hand side so you guys can relax. I was really thinking that with you and MM, the three of us would make a good gang… I enjoy very much chatting with you guys. Always cheer me up and always look forward to the posts from Piemonte and from France.
p.s. I think I am like Mrs Sensible, sometimes I think I am English. Actually I am looking into getting the British passport, so I can avoid having the same passport as Berlusconi…
seems like every country and neighbourhood has its version of “foreigners” that somehow they don’t accept and don’t like.
Now Italians are up all against “extra-comunitari” -ie immigrants from countries outside the EU – but funnily enough in ordinary conversation, Italians label most foreigners as “extra-comunitari” even though their country has now joined the EU (for example Romanian or Bulgarians are still called “extra-comunitari)…
Growing up near the Swiss border, our neighbourhood was full of immigrants from the South, mainly from Calabria and Sicily, so the word “terroni” was one which was frequently used in our household. My mother always told us when we were small “marry someone who is at least as well educated and intelligent like you, if not more, and who is not a terrone”. Well my sister married a Sicilian and they were happily together for 30 years….
Now Mum loves Mr C (like everybody in my family) and this shows how perceptions change over time. I know however that there is still a North-South divide and I hope it will gradually change… who knows… in a few generations maybe?
I prefer the terroni to the northerners, does that make me an inverted racist?
The people from Sicily are wonderful the culture is amazing and the food!!!
Besides Mrs Sensible is Sicilian and she is my yard stick to measure others against.
I like the definition of “inverted racist”… I started a politically incorrect post, me thinks….
My cat’s black, and nobody bothers him about it. Other cats just see him as a normal cool cat. On a more serious note, I heard small children at a birthday party describing a child in their infant school class, saying that he was this tall, had curly hair, smiled a lot and like eating a certain type of sweets. When the child’s name finally emerged from the verbal crossfire, a mother said, “oh, the black kid!”. The kids were surprised; skin colour wasn’t an issue worth talking about in their book. Proof that if you don’t meddle with kids, they may just grow up to see people as people rather than making a big thing out of colour….
totally agree, children are colour-blind, it’s what we tell them, what we see on TV, what grown ups do, that messes them up (in more ways than one)… has your cat got a blog, MM?…
Nop, my cat hasn’t got a blog, or a Facebook page, and he doesn’t tweet at all. He’s a cat, he just expresses himself by purring, ripping the dustbin’s innards out, and biting my ankles when he’s bored.
Incidentally, Why is Pecora Nera “nera”? Huh???
I thoroughly agree that we make a great gang of blogging pals, we should continue getting together for thee vrtual coffee/cocktail sessions and wrting essays in eachother’s comments columns. So much fun
thanks MM, maybe I put some strange ideas into cat’s mind…. getting himself a twitter page…. he’d love the birdie though!
Pecora Nera = black sheep, you can’t have a pecoro nero., has to end with “a”. Why he is called PN, I don’t know, haven’t got round to asking him, hope he’ll see this and will answer..
I read this with amusement as my darling nieces are mixed race and it’s never been a problem until we holidayed in Portugal and stayed away from the main resort and when we went into bars/restaurants we were always the last to be served!
thanks TinkyTown, not nice to hear this… do they have their versions of “foreigners” in Portugal that they don’t like? Portugal was also a colonial nation, so I guess they probably do… have not been there myself, I thought they were quite friendly people.
and the last country to abolish slavery!
was it really!!!!???? must look that up!! gosh!!
To M.M, what you wrote is very true. It is very sad that a lot of children develop their racist and other views from their parents.
On a different note. I think it would be great if we all met up somewhere during the summer. A bloggers bar-be-que maybe. Trouble is, I know Mrs Sensible will suggest somewhere in the UK and I will suggest here and ….
a bloggers bar-be-que sounds like great fun Pecora Nera!!
We could put up 3 couples here..SSHHH I haven’t asked Mrs Sensible yet.
she is unwell, keep quiet….
Ooo, ooo! We have a place in Sicily with a terrazza with an amazing view over the Platani Valley. Great place for a BBQ!
hey Diane, that sounds great!!!
My first marriage was a mixed race relationship. In Canada it is no big deal for most people. The only thing I ever heard was, “But what about having children? Won’t that be confusing for them?” Well I did have a child and she revels in her Heinz 57 mixed bag background. She loves confusing people. When they see her very Asian face and ask what her background is she will say Welsh, Irish, French, Polish and only if she is feeling serious will she say Japanese!
hey Diane, I had to look up the meaning of Heinz 57 on Wikipedia!!
Heehee. It’s probably a North American expression. I’m guessing Heinz never sold its 57 sauce in Italy nor in Britain.
I would love it that way too, because that’s just how it should be
I love mixed race! Such union of souls has gone from brave to adventurous to the norm: awesome.
thanks for your comment today, adventurous in a challenging world..
Your main header picture, is that the Dubrovnik Wall? I visited the country several decades ago, when it was still part of Yugoslavia. We loved the people and the food. Wonderful memories. Thanks for visiting my blog!
it’s Trogir, we have a house there and our Blog is about the adventure of buying and renovating our holiday home, and some other bits and pieces… thanks for stopping by
My dear Croation neigbors and all the other fun neighboring expats . I have totally enjoyed reading this post and all the great comments. I will have to check out your blogs!!
I must confess, I would have asked if you had experienced any racism as well. I have seen it first hand here in Serbia regarding gypsies and regarding Obama. I would hate to have some of my mixed family members come to visit for fear of how they would be treated. My guess is that people would hide the racism. Thanks for writing about this. it was really interesting. I wish we could all stay as color blind as children or cats. The world would be a better place!
hello T, our friendly Serbian-adopted neighbour…
glad you came to read our post, I was in two-minds whether to write it, but we cannot always be politically-correct…. 
do check out the other blogging buddies who commented here, they are a great bunch, we have much fun drinking virtual Earl-Grey tea together. Sit anytime on the virtual hammock which we have put up on the right-hand side… dobardan!
Your virtual hospitality is so welcoming!!
Thank you. Earl grey is my favorite. I actually dreamt about it when I first moved here and couldn’t find it. Sorry if I told you that before. (The mind of a toddlers mother is a vortex. I can’t remember anything!) I am having a cuppa right now. and enjoying a nice Sunday read. cao
ciao to you, vidimo se!
I laughed out loud at your story of telling people you found Mr. C on the beach, and I have enjoyed reading the comments that followed your post. My partner dated a black woman years ago before he met me, and once when they were out together a black man came up to him and told him to stick to his own race. Crazy.
thanks Ruth in Colorado for sharing this experience… things like this still happen, unfortunately…
This made me think – I never give money to people begging or the like in Lonodn but abroad I have done simply because…well I don’t know really. I suppose I’m a visitor so I feel obliged maybe!
thanks Happiness Stan, maybe when we travel we feel more fortunate, just because we can afford to travel?.. maybe that’s the reason. Maybe!
Can I join your virtual cafe/barbecue please? I like you guys, you are fun to listen to!
I had various mixed race relationships before finally settling on Mr. Sicilian, and nobody ever said or did anything you might regard as racist or stereotyping. Could that be because of my own indimidating demeanour? Not sure, but then…..
Yet right here in Sicily, when out with Hubby and my family nattering in English, we were approached by a man from Milan who decided to introduce himself not us all by saying “Me not terrone, me from Milan.”
“Che cretino,” said Mr. Sicilian.
Fancy that, the only racist comment I’ve ever heard was an italian insulting another Italian.
hey so glad you stopped by!! of course you are more than welcome to a cup of tea or bbq, it’s always enjoyable to read your posts (glad you’re ok after the cleaning accident)…. I remember my Mum years ago dropped either a radio or an electric heater in the bath-full of water (she was in the bath).. must remember to ask her details of how she survived that!
Mr C got a few stares in Sicily when we were visiting my sister, but nothing more sinister than that… ciao a presto
I once came upon a large group from an all-black cruise ship wandering in Diocletian’s Palace, lost and not sure where to eat. Getting directions in Split can be difficult enough for a white gal who knows the language, so I decided to delay my own journey that day to give them a private tour and bring them to one of my favorite, semi-hidden restaurants. I kept in touch with a couple of them for a year or so.
I’ve also met a number of (black) American guys playing for Croatian basketball teams. They seem to get more respect.
thanks Morgan for sharing your experiences in Split et al. Didn’t know that American guys play for Croatian basketball team.. they are very far from home!
Lol, I had the opposite here in Brazil. I’m white and my ex is black, very. But the thing that complicated the issue, was my stepkids called me ‘granddad’ a habit of long standing before ex and I were a pair. That raised eyebrows.
AV
raised eyebrows and created some confusion I bet AV! some strange looks I would imagine! thanks for sharing.
Great post! I’m in the USA. Happens here too!
thanks TerryTrekker for your comments to this post! I am sure it happens in many places and some people get it worse than others…